McSweeney’s Reviews of New food
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The latest installment of McSweeney’s literary journal offers Reviews of New Food that won’t necessarily make you smarter, but will definitely make you laugh out loud.
Here is a snip from Steve DiPetro’s review of Morningstar Farms Veggie Breakfast Bacon Strips:
Prompted by a vegetarian co-worker, I took a bite of what looked like a child’s rendering of bacon. After catching the pieces that it broke into when I bit down, I foolishly threw them into my mouth. Now, I’ll give the mad scientists at Morningstar Farms a little credit: it tasted vaguely like bacon. It tasted like what an android that is trying to fit in with us humans would imagine bacon would taste like. When hidden inside a BLT, it might even work. Eaten alone in a dark editing bay, it did not work. Was my co-worker actually an android? How many more of them were there? Is this how their infiltration would be exposed? By me, here in this room, eating what feels like petrified carpet cushioning with a hint of bacon flavor? Did his eyeball just take a picture of me? It did. Why did I trust a vegetarian?
Read more Reviews of New Food (via Culinate)
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