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The President’s Council on Fitness and Sports has published a fitness test for adults. Though a couple of bloggers have discussed it positively, I won’t touch it with a one-foot sit-and-reach ruler.

Why do I loathe the President’s Challenge Adult Fitness Test? One reason:

The President’s Challenge Kids Test

Go back to your darkest days of gym class and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

“Do as many sit-ups as you can in 60-seconds. Go!” (I petered out after the first 20.)
“Hang on this pull-up bar for as long as you can. Go!” (Zero seconds.)
“Run a mile as fast as you can. Go!” (14 minutes, 36 seconds.)

And then there’s the dreaded sit-and-reach, the easiest test, but also the one I hated most. I remember sitting on the ground with my legs splayed around a ruler, my (male) gym teacher holding down my bare knees with his bare hands, asking me to reach. “I am reaching!”

Thank you, Mr. President, for this hellish walk down memory lane.

Ironically, I may have been a fitter kid if it weren’t for gym class and tests like these. The President’s Challenge crushed my self esteem. Every year. Worse than being picked last for the volleyball team, worse than being forced to take group showers, the President’s Challenge actually made me feel sick to my stomach. The only time I didn’t mind gym class was when we played badminton or learned country line dancing.

It’s absurd, because I wasn’t a terribly lazy or unfit kid. I rode my bike everywhere and roller skated religiously. I even walked a couple miles to school every day when I could have taken the bus. I just didn’t like sports, and I still don’t like competition.

If only the prez measured fitness by how much snow I could lift over my head.
(Is this not the saddest snow fort you’ve ever seen?)

The Adult Fitness Test breaks down fitness into a few components: aerobic fitness, muscular strength and endurance, flexibility and body composition. But where is self-esteem in all of this? I know I know, you can’t really measure body image. It just irks me so that tests like these tend to destroy the positivity required to BE fit.

MizFit’s recent post has some telling comments about THE SUCK that is gym class and the President’s Challenge. Surprisingly, some of her readers don’t seem to mind the thing, and some even have good memories of gym class. But most of them feel like I do, like Merecedes of Geek Girl Fitness:

I sucked at gym. I faked stomach aches, menstrual cramps, and forged my mother’s signature to avoid class whenever I could, especially on days that I knew we’d be running. Attempts at running were mortifying, and usually resulted in me wheezing like an emphysema patient or sprawled over at the sidelines. And no, I didn’t have asthma… I believe if even one of the many gym teachers who tortured me over that decade had ever said, “slow down and you won’t wheeze, and will make it to the finish line”, I probably wouldn’t have done everything possible to avoid running over the course of the following decade. It was only when i read a beginners article saying to start running sloooow, that I felt I had permission to attempt running again.

Think I’m being too hard on ol’ GW? Do you have your own memories you’d like to share? Back me up or put me in my place in the comments.

How Fit Are You? [Healthbolt]
The President’s Challenge Fitness Test [MizFit]
Running with President George Bush [Runner’s World]

Hey all, I have a good excuse for being so quiet lately: I’ve been busy writing for other people.

So go check out my guest post on Crabby McSlacker’s most excellent blog, Cranky Fitness where I give 5 damn good reasons to quit the gym.

 I was on an elliptical machine watching an episode of MTV Cribs when it dawned on me: “this is totally lame.” What the hell was I doing sweating my ass off in a dingy gym full of boneheads and bad techno? Why was I mindlessly watching bad TV? And worst of all, why was I paying for the privilege?

 Read on…

If you know me at all then you know I’m biased against the gym. The Better Business Beaureau has some more fuel for my anti-gym fire. Complaints received by BBB about fitness clubs have risen more than 90% over the past 5 years, largely due to billing complaints.

• 41.5% due to contract disputes
• 31.7% due to billing issues

Consumer Reports followed up with a survey to its subscribers that showed

• The happiest customers were those who used a local or independent gyms (YMCA, community centers, yoga studios, etc)
• Life Time fitness was the only big chain that made it to the top of the Ratings. Bally Total Fitness was at the very bottom
• 16% of respondents reported contract or billing problems
• 38% had trouble cancelling their memberships

My only experience with a U.S. gym was 24 Hour Fitness in Austin, Texas. My only complaints are about the personal trainer I saw for a few weeks. But to her credit, she was always on time and always made me push myself. My complaint is that she didn’t listen to “my needs” and she treated me like I didn’t know anything about food, nutrition or basic physiology. She was always focussed on looks over fitness. “This one’s great for toning.” Toning is bullshit. I was there to be a better runner.

Aside from that singular case, I actually really loved the gym. They had awesome yoga classes, even some at 6am so I could go before work. And the gym itself was clean and spacious (everything really IS bigger in Texas). I also got a sweet work discount, paying less than $30 per month which felt like a steal, a way better use of money than Cable TV.

Still, I think I need to start a How to Get Fit Without the Gym series. But that’s for another time.

On a completely different note, I think there is a ghost in my house that keeps turning down the burner on this pot of beans I’m trying to cook so I can make a 7-Bean and Lager Chili with Vegan Cornbread. But first I must go to the pool, which is, sadly enough, located in my local gym.

Link to Joining a Gym? Complaints to BBB reveal how to get fit while avoiding the pitfalls
Link to Gym complaints soar